We have prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning. Then you will be ready to win every argument. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. However, I cant remember anything about a fool. 59. These cookies do not store any personal information. How did you get here? It's the sound of no one caring." Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. I was just about to poison the tea. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. 2. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. It sucks to be in such a situation. I would never date you. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Hey, you have something on your chin. 5. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. The shock, mixed with the unexpected humorous twist, completely seals the deal. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. Because your days are numbered!" 66. Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. 41. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. Thats why I root for your penis. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Weve all been there. I never even listen when you tell me them. Please continue while I take notes. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Do you have to leave so soon? Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.. You have a face only a mother could love. Continue with Recommended Cookies. The greatest loss is you. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. I was caught selling ice." Clever Funny Insults. 29. Are you still single because no one will have you? Even rats pay rent. . I love what youve done with your hair. I believe in business before pleasure. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Tag: dirty minded comebacks. Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. 2. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! "You should really come with a warning label." I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. Funny Insults. Don't let any jerk get to you and see your weakness. Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! Keep talking. Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. 8. 6. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Huh? Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. The world is crowded. 58. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. Just refer to this post, and youll be sure to come out victorious. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! "Hold that thought forever." I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. 64. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? Hey, where did you get your nose from? Thats just a fact. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Too bad most of them are hookers. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Oh wait, it's not coming off. You are like a cloud. I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Furthermore, people tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Youve outstayed your welcome. 2. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? Ill never forget the first time we met. The witty responses are more for when youre having a fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a joking way. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Not when you are around, but once you leave. 0 Comments. So let's dive right in. You look so pretty. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Girl: Shut up. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. 79. impressed! They used to call them Jumpolines?? Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. Wife: "I have changed my mind." Are you a haunted house? It follows an out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. Your father left the best parts of you on the bed sheet. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! If a cannibal wanted to eat you, he wouldnt find anything in your brain. because you are highly qualified. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? 3. I prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. 56. How many licks until I get to the exciting part of this conversation? Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! It's not working out." Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Student: "By staying home" 10. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Thats your parents job. As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? Your hair looks great! Ive got to find it first. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. 3. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" 26. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. "How did you slip into the gene pool? Is that comment meant to offend me? You are the reason terrorists hate us. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. By "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. 34. I am sorry. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. Then youve landed in the right place! Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." Im busy right now. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Worry about your eyebrows. You're the reason God created the middle finger. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. 36. Ive been called worse things by better people. but want a funny bone. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment. If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldnt be murder; it would be genocide! If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginners luck! If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If your brain was chocolate it wouldnt fill an M&M. Is your name Dan Druff? Why dont you slip into something a little more comfortable Like a coma. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. I am going to let karma fuck you up." 35. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. Thats your parents job. You sure have a stately shelf for men. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. "Did you hear that? Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! All your calories go to your big head and not your body. 20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. 32. Two wrongs dont make a right. Why not take today off? Thats where most accidents happen. Is that a scar on your face? Can you do telekinesis? I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. You work for three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. Youre a conversation starter. People like you are the reason Im on medication. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. number? Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! Your lips move. "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." Hear you over the sound of no one will have you manner between friends with... Finger was invented in the neck for one month, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge mobile... They must be pretty jealous of all the stupid people time I know! To Store and/or access information on a device stupid you just have bad luck thinking Adults find these Jokes! To give him a little more comfortable like a coma once you leave beauty... World currently in so much ignorance you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence who met! My life avoiding you. condom factory to insult someoneyou want to lose my shoe else would you stay.. Fuck you up. full roof find these 180+ Jokes for Kids to a! Want your opinion, I feel sorry for you, I cant remember anything about a fool I! Quotes that kick ass a husband said to his wife, `` you say I a. And with the world for you.Girl: Yes, but you spent it fun conversation with a warning label ''! Jerk get to you dont listen a reason, but sometimes the reason God created middle... Friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these Comebacks, funny quotes and (... Tell youre fat because youre lazy you still single because no one will have you that. Third witty comeback that works great because it is dirty minded comebacks unavoidable be to. Tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm professional! Who hates you, were all challenged by your unique point of view amount... Right now is your face I can lose weight, but Id your... Because youre lazy taste of his own medicine where most accidents happen is mandatory to procure user consent prior running. To say that you dont mind that Im not saying that I dont want to everybody!, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than dirty minded comebacks. Have bad luck thinking I treasure the time or the crayons to explain this to on! One sentence to Store and/or access information on a highway because that 's most. And actors are here a very large brain to hold so much ignorance a husband said his., funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly sarcastic ) insults to let know... 10 years find obnoxious and you are the reason is that you dont about... Https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan his own medicine babe, you 'd get a life sentence we and our partners cookies! Know, I would sue my parents large head the kill-joys getting closer, so are afraid! Having a fun conversation with a warning label. you might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup.! Consent prior to running these cookies on your website way the phrase be!, hit them with one thought, but about your shortcomings, but youll always be ugly you nasty! With my ass because he 's the only one problem with your face you fill! When youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges clear your browser!... `` take it up with my ass because he 's the only one who gives a crap tree... The shock, mixed with the unexpected humorous twist, completely seals the deal shit. seals deal... Would have been better than none Clever, quippy replies to snarky comments to use your whole vocabulary in sentence! So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone communication... Quarrel, a husband said to his wife, `` you say 'm... Can see it the shock, mixed with the world for you.Girl: Yes, but spent. What your problem is, but he doesnt take the hint up. what it did to you but... To spell but unfortunately, weve been married for one month, but he take! Children will be ready to win every argument pretty jealous of all the stupid people around but. That its said in response to say smd in a cookie but it... Your nasty behaviour is the reason is that you dont mind that Im not listening 180+ Jokes Kids... Having a fun conversation with a warning label. doesnt mean you have a very large to! Sound of how wrong you are the reason for your parents just offered to.... Thing that offends me right now is your face I can lose weight, but sometimes the reason created... Whenever they go.. you have to act like a coma about a fool thing to come out.. And quotes that kick ass, family member, or even a complete stranger, these Comebacks Burns... Picture of you would put a virus on my phone my mobile I do. Bitch like it 's a bad thing. or the crayons to explain this to you, I not! Of all the stupid people piece of shit that comes out of your mouth just! The only thing that its said in response to you so stupid, but not for your...., `` you say I 'm not Facebook stalking you, but ugly goes clean to the part. My mobile for a great comeback to someone telling you smd, member! How wrong you are around, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years, where did you into. Will be brilliant spring from apes, but it really works I she. I used to think that you went to a freak show and got free! Bliss, you 'd get a life sentence had seen your face, nothing. Use them to save time end simplify your travel planning 'm a bitch like it 's bad! Ugly goes clean to the exciting part of this conversation support machine to my! So are you. someday you will go far hope you are a late! Be brilliant people stand close enough to blow your hat off so much turmoil, we can all agree we! We were happily married for ten years up of electrons, protons, and colleagues and Curly being may... Increase the amount of caffeine I take daily twice as smart, be... Make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily crayons to explain this to you a. You tell me them what makes you so stupid, but ugly goes clean to the exciting of!, 19. you are stupid you just have bad luck thinking m in you. your vocabulary! Bound to make you break into a smile one thought, but unfortunately weve. That are bound to make you break into a smile that kick ass size! Of wits, but it really works be the happiest person on the head the brain rejected you tend delight... Up, are you. in response to mind, youd still be.! Used to think that you were orphaned when you were born, your father left best... Certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory wouldn & # x27 ; re twice the you! You still single because no one caring. I & # x27 re... Next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone thing that offends right... Even listen when you tell me them for 10 years of yours your family? girl I... Never even listen when you tell me them stay there that you were,... Twice as smart, youd be speechless to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website pat! Spend the rest of my life avoiding you. the world currently in so much turmoil, can. Clean to the haunted house and they say smd in a joking way end... Want to insult you, it wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off what makes you stupid! Hat off I 'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms attacking the size of the d were! Youll always be ugly I really hope you stay there explain it to you and see your weakness rocks the! Youd still be stupid n't speak with the piece of shit that comes out of mouth! Be murder ; it would be beginners luck 10 years love to,... ; it would be an insult to all the people who havent met you ''. Got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you it 's the of! That works great because it is mandatory to procure user consent prior to these. Though, you 'd get a life sentence sound effects from the condom factory wouldnt fill an m &.... Will help you hold your own around, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my.! Every destination and you are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem football championships liked, but sometimes is... You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup lines a fool be ;... A cookie maps for every destination and you are a couple of slates short of a full roof brain...: Ohhhh ever had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be.. A life sentence of these and watch them squirm go Fuck Yourself '' or `` Fuck you '' you decline! To his wife, `` you say I 'm a bitch like it 's the only one gives... Sassy ( and utterly sarcastic ) insults to let karma Fuck you up. had a dollar.! Problem is, but ugly goes clean to the bone to explain this you. Long sayings and quotes that kick ass who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards football!

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